


does the moon shine for me?

by grantairess



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Misgendering, Romantic characters are background, Transgender, Transphobia, questionable artistic choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25635895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grantairess/pseuds/grantairess
Summary: 'Lily has always been a tomboy'
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80





	does the moon shine for me?

**Author's Note:**

> I have to say very honestly this is a very personal story, that is based on my own life and current frustration by the author of this series. This story focuses around Lily Luna. Who becomes Remus. And of course, I don't speak for all trans people with this story. This is very personal. 
> 
> Thank you for taking a chance and reading this story, and I hope you hear a little bit of my voice mixed with these wonderful characters. 
> 
> ((also i love Ginny Weasley, again this is to mirror my own experience))

_ The moon shines for you my beautiful Lily Luna. He comes out every night to just soak in your sunlight.  _

  
  
  


“Lilly’s always been a tomboy.” Lilly had heard this sentence over and over, her entire life. She liked to be covered in dirt, liked to play roughly with the boys. 

She didn’t like princess stuff. But her mom loved that, she loved that they were similar. Ginny, even though the divorce with Harry. She would let Lilly dress in boy clothes, took her to get her short haircuts. Didn’t think about it too much when people would ask if she was a girl or a boy. 

The questions always rung in Lily’s ears. Almost hurt to hear them. The own question whispered in her mind at night. Am I a girl or a boy. 

As she got older, the voice got louder. 

Everything turned into her being like Ginny. Everything turned into ‘you are just like your mother.’ Sometimes when she looked at pictures of her dad, of Harry. She would see herself more. 

She didn’t want to be the problem child. She already knew that would be Albus. He looked just like Harry. Got the most attention. Was the boy. James was the boy. She could never be that. 

Sometimes when they played quidditch she would take that frustrating thought out by aiming the balls a little harder at their faces. 

~~ 

At 16, years after her parent’s divorce. In her 5th year at Hogwarts, she met somebody new. Younger than her. But. 

“Jordan. She goes by female pronouns.” There was no argument in Albus’s voice. But the concept went through her full force. As smart as she thought she was, the thought had never come to her mind. 

She went by female pronouns. He was a girl. Jordan was a girl. And everybody accepted and looked ready to defend the girl for it. 

Albus looked at her from across the train, his eyes kind. She felt the look through her body and clenched her hand on her pants. She refused to wear a skirt. She always had.

Albus looked so much like their father with that kind look. The soft smile. The understanding that shone through him. 

She felt her hands clench. 

~~~ 

“ _ She’s always been a tomboy.”  _

She didn’t know how she would tell anybody that she was never a tomboy. 

That she was always a boy. 

~~~ 

“You should talk to dad about it.” James’ face was clear in the fire, his eyes clear. His hair was messy, and Lily could hear Teddy singing in the background. They had been living with each other for over 6 months now. Lily knew James was happy. 

“What am I supposed to say? Hey, I know you are really busy at work right now. But I’m having gender issues? He doesn’t have time for me and my issues. He has his own.” 

“Lily. He always has time for you. You are his child. Just send him an owl. He loves you.”

~~~ 

Telling Mom first was a mistake. Were the only words ringing around in her head, the name she chooses sitting on her chest heavily? The pronouns she tried to slide across the table, searched for acceptance in her mother’s eyes. 

“I think it’s that friend of Albus’s. You weren’t like this before you met that boy!” Ginny’s voice was louder than she probably meant. The tears were already streaming down Lily’s face. She couldn’t even find it in her to choke out the argument that, Jordan was a girl. They barely knew each other. 

“Mom. Please. Stop yelling.” 

~~~ 

_ Lily, Lily, so beautiful  _

_ When the moon comes out at night, it comes out for you.  _

~~~ 

Harry and Ginny divorced when Lily was 3. She barely remembered it. James always talked about it how bad it was before. But, Lily only remembers them from how they act on Holidays. Smiling and laughing about old times. 

Harry came out as bisexual when Lily was 10. He got married the next summer to Draco Malfoy. He saw her twice a month, she sometimes would stay a month in the summer. She never doubted he loved her. 

He was busy though. James was busy. Albus was busy, having graduated. 

When he came to pick her up that night, he looked tired. He had a scar on his face he didn’t have last time she saw him. He didn’t look Ginny in the eyes as he carried Lily’s suitcase out the door. Draco was standing on the sidewalk. His face was whiter than Lily had ever seen before. 

“What name did you choose?” 

“Remus.” The name coming out of her mouth shocked her a little bit. The voice in her head changed, shaped around this new name. His new name. He was a he. He wanted to be called Remus. 

“I think that’s perfect. Exactly what I would have picked.” He smiles at him. His eyes glittered in that way they always have when he looked at him. Draco wrapped his thin arm around his shoulder as they walked down the sidewalk. He was starting to bald. Remus couldn’t wait to tease him about it. 

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?” The words were out of Remus’s mouth before he could stop them. He felt like he was going to puke on the sidewalk, and they hadn’t even apparate yet. 

“There’s nothing to forgive. She’ll have to grow away from this. You did nothing wrong. She is in the wrong.” Draco said and squeezed her shoulder. 

“Let’s go home.” 

~~~ 

_ Daddy do you think the moon still shines for me?  _

_ Now more than ever, my darling son.  _


End file.
